Monday, March 19, 2007 •
I really should be sleeping at such an unearthly hour. Okay, for some people their day has already begun but mine hasn't even ended because I haven't slept. I think my clock is messed up as usual so boo. =(
Tons of work to do yet although I'm awake at this hour, I can't bring myself to do the necessary work simply because the brain isn't functioning very well and I keep thinking about not sleeping and surviving my classes later.
Anyway, I think I've decided to sign the contract and see how things go. I actually feel kinda happy making this decision (although in some way reversible) because I think I have more or sorted out my thoughts. Hooray! Now the troublesome part comes returning the contract because I would have to somehow make time to go down again or arrange for someone to help me do so. Haha. I hope I won't regret my decision and hopefully I'll find a goal in life soon enough. I really also have to stop comparing because I guess it's seldom that anything is perfect and comparing just makes me feel worse. I guess maybe there are near-perfections but for everything, there are usually two sides. I must learn to be happy. Not contented such that I'm unmotivated but I guess it's to be happy with what I have. And honestly, there's no reason why I should be unhappy these days.
I am pretty much happy these days. =)
Lemme count, the number of assignments and tests/exams before the final examinations and graduation! 2 tests, 3 projects and 1 term paper before 1 final exam! Hmm seems like there's still quite a long way to go but I think I better hurry because before I know it, it'll be over.
Have a good week everyone!
Thursday, March 15, 2007 •
now that graduation is coming, school work aside, the task of finding a job, knowing what you want to do and then committing to it seems so daunting. i wish i had some kind of idea and motivation to point me in the right direction. sigh. sometimes i wish i had more ambition and was less lazy. but i guess i'm lorraine and some things don't change that easily. heh
i went down to CS today to review the contract drafted. i have yet to sign and am still deciding but somewhere in my heart knows that i'll probably sign it afterall. for i am a singaporean and somehow rejecting this offer without even having other offers does not seem like a very wise decision especially since i think i really don't mind doing the job given my lack of knowledge of my passion and ambition. (okay this is a really long sentence but hmm i hope you get what i mean. haha) anyway, looking ahead, if i sign the contract, it is also unlikely that i will actively continue searching for another job (given my naturally lazy nature. sigh.) maybe i will try applying still, but when the applications are too long or tedious, i may just give up since there's already a contract in the bag. why don't i know what i want? =(
well, i'm obviously confused.
anyway, i like reminiscing. i don't think i like to live in the past but yes, now that we're about to graduate and to leave hall, my friends and i do spend a little more time chatting, playing and reminiscing our times in Eusoff and the friendships forged in these close to four years. i should take photos to capture all these memories.
