Saturday, April 30, 2005 •
i am a little bothered i dunno why...
i think i just made sumone unhappy or rather peeved.. but maybe i'm being too sensitive.. as in hmm ya.. it was just my choice of words through msn that splat out.. my fren was trying to get me out for dinner.. but he kinda kept talking abt it... so i just said, "aiyah.. can u stop talking abt dinner.." hmm then i dunno why i just felt tt he was a bit upset i said tt.. but i could be too sensitive as always.. not tt we are romantically linked but i don't like it when i may have been insensitive to other people's feelings... similarly tt's also cos i dun like it when people are insensitive to mine... i'm so sorry...
was i wrong? hmm i just hope it's me being overly sensitive and he doesn't read so much into it... gosh i do dislike this process of making friends... i seem to tend to falter under pressure.. esp when all i wanna do is to get to know tt person better with no motive at all.. and i guess the other feels the same way but perhaps with a slightly different motive...
anyway, lemme mention that i faced my fear today... i talked to 'the forbidden' cos he happened to see me walking past and shouted out to say hi.. not much of content for a short conversation but yeah... oh well.. doesnt seem tt bad after all but i shall still try to avoid... least tt is doing good for me at the moment... truth is, i am still only on my way to full recovery...
i guess whatever will be will be... i just wish for everyone to be happy... and to have no hard feelings... tmr will be another day...
sleep!
•
I like this song...
Pretty World by Lisa Ono
Why don´t we take a little piece of summer sky
Hang it on a tree?
For that´s the way to start to make a pretty world
For you and for me
And for the sun we´ll find a lemon bright balloon
You can hold the string
Oh can´t you see this little world of ours will be
The prettiest things?
We can gather rain enough from a stream
To hold our happy faces
If you want a breeze
I´ll blow you a kiss or two
Take me in your arms
And our little world will be the place of places
Nothing else to make
But breakfast and love
We´ll hang a little sign that just says
Paradise population two
I know together we can make a pretty world
For me and for you
For you
That´s what I´m longing to do
To do
To make a world with you
To make a world with you
Friday, April 29, 2005 •
hello! i'm updating my blog because my sis asked me to... haha or rather i told her i would.. i should actually be studying.. i just finished watching my daily dose of teevee... 7pm and 9pm channel 8 show... then today had survivor!
my daily partner of teeveeshows and dinner and lunch went out today.. a bit lonely... haha... but i went swimming with dingding and we had quite a nice dinner :) hmm.. ya.. haven't studied yet today! ahhh! but i shall start after this.. i must i must... not to mention that lychee asked me out tmr!!!! but she did say that she doesnt mind studying with me in the library b4 dinner... hmm.. tempted! sigh..
okay! today i shall tell the story of pootding, lollipop and frenchloaf! pootding, lollipop and frenchloaf are good frens and sleepy neighbours! pootding is FOS and she can draw very well. she can only draw the shit-man and a funny looking girl. lollipop and pootding are of the same height. frenchloaf is taller! but who's the sweetest? lollipop! okay.. frenchloaf is yummy and pootding likes to bite. lollipop loves to be bitten. okay the end!
ahhh hahaha tt was super incoherent! grade: C
Tuesday, April 26, 2005 •
hmm.. oh well.. just felt like saying as much as i'm doing fine.. seeing anything that involves him even though i dun see him makes me upset. just like if i see him name appear sumwhere or blah blah.. or like if i hear people talking abt things and them mention him... dammit it's so hard... i dislike so much that we're in such close proximity yet... ya... grrrrrr... toughen up toughen up.. i know i can!
i just had my 2nd last paper today... and yeah.. it was okay i hope. because it was 2 essays, it's really quite difficult to gauge how i fared. had lunch with a few friends today... then came back played mahjong.. yahoo one and the real thing.. then i went swimming again... i think once you start exercising, maybe it'll be a little addictive! speaking of tt!!! swanny said my face got chubbier!! grrr... hmm i dunno how true is tt but my hall friends did say i lost a bit of weight... and i really tot i did cos i mean i guess i didnt weigh myself but i felt it when wearing stuff... then again he once said that the first sign of gaining weight is ur face! oh no!!!!! gasp! but i havent been that greedy... :(
going to work at the sports council tmr.. just part time stuff.. for a day.. decided to go cos if not i dun think i'd wakey and study also.. this way i feel a bit more guilt.. which is why i have to read a bit of stuff b4 i sleep tonite.. and tmr after i reach hall i really gotta mug... i just wanna enrich myself more... get doing more stuff.. i'm even thinking of doing volunteer work... maybe being occupied is good.. takes ur mind off things.. and hopefully, as everyone has been saying.. time heals all wounds..
Monday, April 25, 2005 •
I have a friend who goes by the name of Awful. She is Awfully Sweet. She lives on my floor in hall but on another wing and we have been spending quite a bit of time together. Why? Cos both of us had our hearts broken not too long ago. Hehe.. But we're glad, okay for me at least, I'm glad that i have her for company.
She likes writing stories and she wrote a story abt me on her blog. Now i wanna write a story about her but i think i'm not very good at it. Hehe... She sent me a few lovely songs today and I am happy. I will write abt her more next time.
Next, Lychee will be coming over to my room later. Cos she has a paper at EH at 5pm which is after her 1pm paper at Arts. I am glad I'll have her for company even though i will try my best not to disturb her from mugging. :)
Lastly, I have really been feeling better lately. Not totally over him yet but better. Maybe it's the talking to a few more people. People whom i don't usually talk to and it's a bit like making new friends, getting to know them better. It helps. Keep your mind off things. I don't think i am ready for a relationship yet though. Definitely not even if sum nice guy comes along. I am scarred. I just wanna make as many friends as possible now. On that note, I still love all my current friends!
Last lastly, hehe... i have two more papers to go!! One this tuesday, and the last one next tuesday!! I am in the midst of preparing for this tuesday's one and i hope i can finish what i plan to do. Must make sure i get enough sleep the night before too. By the looks of things now, if i don't force myself to wake up earlier later, i will not be able to sleep at night to get the sufficient rest of my paper so ya i hope i do wakey at the time i set my alarm to be.
Okay, that's abt all i have to say for now.. going to bed. -yawn- goodnight everyone...
Thursday, April 21, 2005 •
"we can do it.. we can do it... lalalalalalala..." these are the rats singing in cinderella.. when they were making her dress...
thanks joel for talking to me and making me feel better and actually thank you all my friends who have been talking to me becos without your constant support, i don't think i would have made it this far... haha okay wait.. pardon me if these few days i keep repeating the same thing okay? cos my emotions these days are like a cycle and it jus keeps repeating and i can't really rem what i last posted... hee...
today i got locked outside my room... my nice silly friends did it! they took my transponder while i was out and locked the door! and when i came back i sat on the doorstep and they took 4 pictures of me.. and they played hot and cold game with me for me to find my transponder... how notti! but they made me happy! do i sound like a primary school kid? hee :D
i guess i will never grow up.. yet... hahahaha sigh... lkgshgfkjashfkasjhf ---> this is how i like to express myself when i cannot find words in my vocabulary skjhfsaljkhfwlkhf
i have done it b4 and i will do it again... lorraine will persevere and lalala... talk abt emotional rollercoaster.. tmr is my 2nd paper... today was bad.. i declared s/u for tmr's paper but i guess i still need to study later...
Wednesday, April 20, 2005 •
Your dating personality profile:
Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.
Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life.
Sensual - You are not particularly shy when it comes to your sexuality. You know what you like and do not feel inhibited. | Your date match profile:
Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape.
Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.
Outgoing - Shy and timid people are not who you are after. You need someone with a vibrant personality to breathe life into a relationship. |
Your Top Ten Traits
1. Athletic
2. Adventurous
3. Sensual
4. Wealthy/Ambitious
5. Stylish
6. Conservative
7. Practical
8. Funny
9. Shy
10. Romantic
| Your Top Ten Match Traits
1. Athletic
2. Conservative
3. Outgoing
4. Adventurous
5. Practical
6. Sensual
7. Wealthy/Ambitious
8. Intellectual
9. Funny
10. Stylish
|
Take the
Online Dating Personality Quiz at
Dating Diversions
•
hmm hello.. happy that i have 2 comments when i came back to my blog! hahaha... :D i read what i wrote the last post and i was surprised i wrote it... as in like cos my state of mind yesterday and today wasn't exactly like tt... when it wasn't too long ago...
like even though i had accepted certain facts, it just hurts again when u know tt he is moving on and for that matter, moving on with perhaps sumone else... this time, sumone i kinda know... and the images just keep flashing in my mind... gee... oh well... tt will always happen..
i guess i still gotta believe... believe that one day i will find my happiness.. it may not be being in a relationship but i just wanna be happy.. i hope it ain't so difficult... yes it's all abt choices.. like you can choose to be happy.. but is it really so easy? i think still.. i don't really believe in tt romantic kinda love anymore... sad but true.. look what a few relationships have left me with... would it have been better if i never dated sumone seriously and still fantasy in my fairytale land tt love exists?
my exams start kinda like tmr.. cos now it's the morn of the eve of my first paper... i really shouldnt let this affect me.. like it is and will be but i cannot!!!! can i drive it out of my mind for this little while...
i'm also thinking of cutting my hair real short... not like boyish short but short la... even though i quite like my hair now.. sigh... i just want sumthing different.. i need to break more barriers to i guess feel that things are different already... know what i mean...
my appetite's not been good... amazing rite... when i love to eat.. i really really dun feel like eating and it's not tt i wanna torture myself... why should i torture myself becos of one silly guy who doesnt gimme the respect i need.. and who doesnt treasure me (this is what i feel la.. yes we had our happy times and things happened not just because of me la... i really wonder what went wrong.. he has all tt i'm looking for but maybe we're just not suitable for each other in other aspects.. makes me wonder what he thinks of me now) but i really don't have the appetite... hooooooow... ahahaha
oh well.. i really gotta learn... i must be strong.. i know i can... meanwhile, hey yeek, qi, ms, pat and angie.. do u rem this "life stucks love stinkz" hahaha i can't believe we came up with this phrase like 6 years ago...
Friday, April 15, 2005 •
hello hello.. i wonder who comes here.. ahaha... this always happens.. then i think to myself.. why do i even blog in the first place...
oh well... exams are coming again... this time.. hmm i have 4 papers... of which 1 isn't as crucial cos i declared s/u.. but still i need to study! and the progress is really slow...
things are me are falling into place i guess... but it's not easy... it's really not easy... sumtimes i wanna throw in the towel and breakdown and lapse into the "helpless" state.. but i know there's no pt in that... what's the use... then again.. not breaking down makes me stronger.. or does it jus oppress my true feelings and one day i'll explode? hmm.. i dunno i certainly hope that the former is true... and tt i become stronger... i am quite useless cos it's taking so long... but i know it's no big fault of mine.. in any case, i dun look for love anymore.. and do i still believe in love? i dunno... i'm skeptical... maybe love and lorraine doesnt go... like love always evades her...
i know i know many people love me..ahahaha.. my frens and all.. but u know what i'm talking abt... i guess i'll stay out of these for a while... love really isnt a game for me... i am very bad at it... until i buy a new game when i really finish this old one...
i look at the people ard me.. and there are sum people with happy games.. and sum with unhappy games.. i think abt it and feel that there's no pt.. no pt in all these foolish games at all... what do i see in the future? surprisingly i still see a happy family of my own.. but i won't be surprised if i didnt have one... maybe i'll be one of those old ladies who can't get past their old love... hahaha...
i'm so glad i have friends... and my family.... and teaping.. and best of all, i'm so glad my friends are there for me.. even if they have bfs... hahaha if not i'll be a really miserable girl... thanks babes! sumtims i dun tell ya stuff or really express how i feel cos there really is no pt... no pt in anything at all.. no pt in thinking or talking or expressing... like now.. ahaha
okok i am a bit nonsensical.. as always... goodnitee...
