Saturday, July 31, 2004 •
to blog or not to blog.. to blog or not to blog... haha finally i guess i decided to... not sure of what i'm gonna say though.. many thoughts have been racing through my mind whole week.. emotions were a plenty too..
i guess sumtimes we just hafta find solace in sumthing.. and these few days i guess i found mine in my cosy little C305... haha... whenever i was free (amidst the busy schedule) all i did was to laze in bed and listen to songs on my lappie.. sometimes the songs made me tear.. but it was a good washing of my heart...
talking abt lappie... my current one an IBM is soon to be replaced by a Fujitsu! hmm quite excited... new things are always nice.. i must take good care of it.. this Fujitsu was chosen under careful consideration with main comparison being the other IBM models...
yay! i'm turning 20 soon... okaay no yay actually! haha... i like birthdays but somehow i'm not really looking forward to this year's one... a few factors.. which i'm a lil lazy to list them out now.. haha no wonder fengyi wants to label me "lazy lorraine"...
Monday, July 26, 2004 •
song of the moment: the weakness in me by Joan Armatrading..
rag dance practice has started... worried! what if i cant catch the steps?!?! haha... oh well hope it's gonna be good cos i wanna help win back the challenge shield for Eusoff... i guess last year when i was a freshman it didnt really matter cos i didnt know what everything was abt.. they asked me to dance and i just did... but as senior.. it's different! you know what it's all abt and all the more u feel the passion... did i mention i love the costumes always... :)
hmm... work's tough get up by 830 everyday and the day ends ard midnight and well of cos i laze ard quite a bit b4 getting my good night's rest... other stuff bothering me.. well not any more.. i dont know if it's i cant really be bothered or i'm jus tired.. i dont wanna talk abt it or hang on much anymore.. what if i really lose my passion in the end.. i guess as it's always to take one step at a time... and tt's how tt will be... hate it.. wish i'm the kinda person that doesnt care... and not exactly emotional... but if i'm such a person.. then it ain't really me anymore... so how? dilemma... maybe it's called getting used to things or compromising... don't really know... so when is that much of tolerance enuff.. what is my limit... dont know at all...
been thinking abt my committments for the coming year also.. and hmm feeling a little pressure.. dont know where to start for dnd at all.. hmm.. but i know i can do it.. with a little bit of determination... and guidance from all the seniors, my fellow members and.... hmm haha tt's all i guess... it's kinda do or die so u'll rise to the occasion to make sure it gets done! no time for procrastination or anything.. busy busy busy... haha i also wanna study!! but i dunno how hard or smart will i... lychee kinda reminded me that hey we're in uni to study.. and not to major in hall activities... and she's damn right... sumtimes i guess hall stuff are like paths to escape from the reality of lessons... ahaha... fun none the less and meaningful and enriching of cos but shouldnt just run away like tt i think...
oh btw, before i end i gotta comment on this.. sumone staying on the floor abv me kinda told me that "oh u'll be hearing my music since u're staying at C305." sumthing like tt... and at first i didnt thinking much of it but i jus told him haha if it's ever too loud i'll call u and ask u to lower ur volume... after walking back to my room.. i thought "what nonsense.. since he warned me abt it.. why cant he jus be more considerate and not turn on his stuff at such high volumes?!!?" and i was telling him if i cant get to sleep he'll get a msg from me.. haha and he dared to mention.. "oh but i tot it's not when u're sleeping but when u're studying.." people these days.. inconsiderate... hahaha.... not tt it's very loud or that i can hear it now... but hey! it's like u know it and u still do it...
Saturday, July 24, 2004 •
what a morning! had an eh adventure camp yesterday at sentosa palawan beach.. stayed over in our tents.. and at abt 6am in the morning it started to pour!!!! what an awakening... hahaha... the tents werent exactly waterproof... and we were situated on a slope so gosh.. in a few mins the tent started to flood... and 4 of us.. me, naj, lav and anna were huddled together in the middle of the small 4 man tent with an umbrella over us.. haha.. we were all wet and drenched... oh man... okaay.. end of story was.. all the ppl were evacuated from their tents by our lovely and dedicated programmers.. they did a headcount and had a "rescue search" for the missing ppl.. ppl these days.. how inconsiderate! running off for a little rendevous when everyone else was looking for them.. anyway.. all peeps were accounted for thankfully... :)
has been a long long week and we had long long days.. sum activities were fun but sum were totally draining.. esp all the last min preps for orientation stuff.. it's gonna be another 2 long weeks... plus i'm not having a good time at all handling bf stuff.. sigh.. but it'll all be fine... i'll pull through no matter what happens and no matter how tough things get..
Friday, July 16, 2004 •
“Sing and dance and be joyous,
but let each one also be alone.
Even as the strings of the lute are alone,
though they quiver to the same music.”
- Kahlil Gibran
Ripped this quote of a distant friend's blog... Let each one also be alone... Hmm.. perhaps...
I always needed company.. I was always in company... I never felt the need to be alone until i grew older... Not that i am that old... Haha.. but seriously.. time alone helps at times.. feels good.. and with space, things all seem well... But then again, sumtimes not.. I don't like the feeling of being ignoring and not cared abt.. Can't know for sure if these feelings are true most times.. but i'm a damn sensitive soul..
Life's tiring at times.. Gotta learn to let go and not take everything so seriously.. Gosh.. I'm not even 20.. yet.. I'm starting to feel myself growing old and worrying more.. Wanna believe in happiness but i can't deny the fact that life's not all perfect...
Guess all i can do is to be true to my heart and enjoy everything that comes along... Never know what will be happening tomorrow...
Oops.. all these random thoughts are so incoherent! But as mentioned.. Random thoughts... Pardon Me...
•
guess what peeps! this is officially my number 101st post.. haha.. okay.. went for a run with siding today.. i actually lost track but i think so far it's sumhow still amazing that i go for a run at least once a week.. yeah yeah.. not enough but hey haha least it's getting consistant.. :)
went for "supper" with mainly C3 girls and it felt good just hanging out.. at the western food stall.. haha gosh.. it's been ages since i just sat there to eat and hang out.. however, due to my quota of 3 meals daily which i had already fulfilled.. i stuck to a slice of papaya and a cup of my fav barley! muahahaha... of cos there was an urge to eat.. but control control.. tt's what it's all abt.. and if u're thinking tt gosh.. lorraine's on a bad slimming diet?!?! nah.. not really! just control! it's more like trying to eat healthy.. and to be healthy.. not great measures to lose weight.. still having 2 to 3 meals a day and it's really full meals.. haha..
orientation is approaching.. and we're all feeling the heat for rag and flag and of cos the orientation programme itself.. quite excited but with that means that sch's starting.. hmm with regard to sch.. okay mixed feelings haha.. been so long since i kinda "studied".. ahah and timetable's a hassle to plan.. i cant decide what kinda schedule i want.. has serious consequences i think..
actually.. i kinda gave up hopes of doing an honours year.. due to a less than good cap but after chatting with angela, a member from the comm i'm in who's currently doing her honours year in life sci.. i am motivated to just study hard and just do my best and see how things goes.. i guess when u really want sumthing.. u'll work damn damn hard for it.. thing is.. how bad do i want it.. hahaha.. been slacking too long. i think since sec2.. i'm amazed at how i manage to scrape thru all my major exams.. then again.. i'm not tt proud of it.. but i'm happy.. cos.. i guess life isnt all abt mugging.. :)
okay.. now talk abt yesterday! i have to blog abt it even though it's old news.. haha hmm okay wait.. is old news an oxymoron? haha i just asked my neighbour seeeng and she said.. not really but can be.. cos it's not tt obvious.. okay anyway.. i met up with angeline, szeyen and huijing.. plus angeline's bf yest to go to starlight cinema! but it poured heavily the moment we reached the entrance.. haha totally drenched... on top of tt.. silly sweetheart szeyen stepped on my slipper while trailing behind me and the strap of my slipper broke!!!! argh! how unlucky.. wet and cold in the rain.. i had a rubberband holding my slipper together so that i could move abt.. met quite a few ppl and familiar faces at fort canning though.. but bad day.. bad bad day..
yepz yepz.. mum's coming back from perth this saturday.. yay! but i miss my sis..
Tuesday, July 13, 2004 •
ah.. finally.. shifted to my new room in hall and i am quite pleased.. haha not tt it's already nicely decorated or what but hmm jus pleased! lol.. still have a box of stuff to unpack and place nicely onto my shelves.. then it's time for photos to be up and maybe sum stuff on my wall.. curtains!!! i want curtains!!! door curtain too.. okay okay hahaha just a mini list of things for me to rem to get... adding more to it soon..
1. air freshener for my room and cupboards
2. curtains and their poles.. whatever u call them! haha
3. posters! haha hmm i havent decided what i wan on my wall actually.. but it's bare..
er.. tt's all i can think for now.. haha my neighbours are nice and lively.. although living with frens may not have perfect results i hope everything will be fine.. must be cool and tolerant and considerate and must haf loads of fun! :)
Sunday, July 11, 2004 •
met up with szeyen today... even though it was a short reunion it was good.. didnt do much she just drove me ard and had dinner at her place.. hehe.. like the good old days.. her house's still the same and so is she... never fails to cheer me up... and i guess and i hope i never fail to make her day either.. she's the beginning of my wackiness haha kinda like she taught me more abt self-expression.. miss those days..
Saturday, July 10, 2004 •
i'm feeling : CONFUSED...
The last i had this feeling was prolly months months ago.. Now i'm wondering what is happening or what has happened. Self-identity is so impt yet i cant seem to find myself. Describe yourself. Nah.. i cant do that. I dont even really know who or what kinda person i am. Too accomodating and pleasing until it becomes not real. Hmm.. issit possible for sumone's character trait to be accomodating? Does that mean that she isnt real cos she is.. the real her is accomodating? Does anyone know what i'm talkin abt here? Speak of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. How issit possible to change mood in split seconds.. Unreal? I dont know.. Think of happy thoughts and believe that everything will be okay cos the hiccup was small.. That's how it is isnt it.. Not tt i aint bothered by the hiccup. Isnt the same for every hiccup though.. Sum takes ages to "not be bothered". Unreal perhaps but i dont see why everyone must show their unhappiness or angry all the time. I'm not saying dont show! I'm saying "it depends.." Sitting on the fence again? What's wrong with that.. I'm totally upset and lost.. Dont know what to do.. How to do.. Lorraine's still very much a kid.
other stuff to perk me up at least a little bit : Sweetheart szeyen is back. She's been back for 2 weeks! omg! Dolynn Yap's back too.. i'm gonna meet u guys real soon.. i promise!
Wednesday, July 07, 2004 •
i'm feeling : HAPPY!
hahahaha at orchard cineleisure's buttercup coffee with yinqi aka lychee and visiting kelly at work! haha.. i'm luffing so much cos lychee doesnt allow me to copy her posting! but i wanna.. i mean hey! we're at the same place and kinda experiencing the same food and atmosphere... lol.. okok.. anyway peeps! the food here is not bad... dessert esp! and there have really value for $ set lunches!!!
my sis's leaving for perth later... gee.. miss her already u know.. as in when u think that she's gonna be away and not in singapore even though perth's 5 hrs away.. i'm definitely going to the airport later.. but hey.. i need to get her a gift first... shhh.. hope she doesnt read this b4 i pass her any gift! i hope i can find one later.. gonna shop with lychee!!
ooh ooh so much for the no updates fer a while.. actually only bout a week plus but guess since i've been blogging quite a bit lately, a week plus is already considered long... been quite busy with hmm dunno everything.. haha not like super busy busy but many stuff happening! oh yah! amazing race season 5 is starting tonight!!! yay!!! must watch! okaaay bye for now! =)
